Living in a culture founded upon centuries of patriarchy, we are taught to lean toward productivity, forward-motion, and a “just do it” way of life. But what if the secrets to a healthy, fulfilling, peaceful and rewarding life actually lie within a way of living which is more curvy, less driven, more intuitive, and more grounded in the rhythms of our bodies, the earth, and the stars?
And if we consider this as a desirable possibility, how might we learn to lean into THIS way of being, instead? Could we begin, perhaps, with trusting our big or not so big “buts,” our subtle or not so subtle sense of hesitation, our sense of “no”, as a starting place of connecting to that intuitive, gut-knowing guidance system?
For some, it can take some faith and courage to begin to notice and honor the “buts” which they have habitually overridden, but the idea is to start small…with things of little consequence. In your times of trying to more intentionally pay heed to your hesitations, instead of quitting your job or ending your relationship, you might notice an inclination to skip that event with the friends you ALWAYS do everything with, or not eat a certain food that has been regularly healthy for you in the past. You might not even always have access to validation which lets you know that you chose right. But over time, your signs and your knowing will grow…and you will get more validation from synchronistic events or right timing or just the feeling that everything flowed quite well.
Have you had experiences of trusting your sense of “no” which turned out unexpectedly good? Some of you live more in this way, while others maybe are not used to noticing that feeling. How have you noticed or honored that feeling in new ways, how might you build upon these successes? Share below, for the benefit of other readers, your thoughts about learning to love your big and small “buts”!
Very thought provoking!
Thank you Nick! 😊
My former teacher/cult leader 🙂 used to say some great things, one of which was “A no to you is a yes to me.” Turning my back on that path with one simple “no” meant leaving behind a career, many great friendships, and my sense of who I was…and I had had a tendency to just do whatever I was asked to do in that milieu. I had no plans to quit. But one day I just knew that my discomfort with saying yes in one particular instance was everything I needed in order to be in my integrity. My “no” to that request was my “yes” to myself. My life changed radically that day, and I have no regrets about it whatsoever.
Oh Carol, I love this story! Thank you SO much for sharing it. What an inspiration to see how well things can turn out when we “pay attention” in new, sometimes initially uncomfortable ways.